Sights, Treat Delights, and Happy Ending....

Had my first week of classes, it was pretty chill

(It's exactly what it looks like)


(....ok not really)

Afterwards celebrated my first day by journeying to a two storied restaurant near my uni that was baller. I ordered snake and shrimp dumplings along with some delicious soup and badass  noodles and pork (probably also snake, at least part of me hopes so, snake so gud)

I ate the shit out of it.

During the meal I happened to also notice yet another cat climbing around the city. This one made its way across a few awnings towards cat food dishes that had been left out....presumably for said kitty.

 Jumping kitty

Munching kitty.

Kitty cat cat cat

The following day I was handed a packet of tissues out front of a massage parlor which I can only assume was a solicitation of sex given the packaging.

YOU WANN PICKING THY EARS MI'LORD?

I bet they pick you long time.

I chose to instead pick some donuts from a Dunkin

 The smiley one was filled with vanilla pudding and was incredible.

Made me smile for damn sure.

I also got a special basketball one that was honoring Lebron James, I was hoping that by devouring it I would also obtain his neckbeard powers.

Now for some sites.

That last one is of my campus (well, part of it)



I also took part in celebration of AMERICAN FREEDOM DAY FUCK YEA LET'S GO SHOOT OFF SOME GUNS AND BEAT UP SOME BRITISH CITIZENS FOR THE FUCK OF IT

FUCK YEA HOT DOGS

I do like hotdogs.

Instead I got a mushroom cheeseburger on ciabatta bread at a restaurant called 1885 burger.

No wait that's a typerwriter

I am so very ham handed

But not as hammy as these Vietnamese noodles with ham strips on them.

No wait where was I?

Oh yes, BOIGAHS

Man look at all that food.

That sure is a ton of fries godd-

Tricky

WELL AT LEAST IT TASTED GREAT!

Finally I leave you with some books and inspirational desk vandalism

Those words I found etched into a desk at the library. They mean to add fuel, or to give it more gumption if you will. TRY YOUR BEST MAGGOT

Now I'm gonna go to a Jazz bar (maybe) and ride a giant gondola tomorrow.

Pricks, Parks, and Panting

So the other day I was due to move into the apartment.

Shit did not work out..

Aside from the landlord assuring me that the broken microwave and bathroom fan were working when not a sound was being made from them, he tried to con me into signing a 6 month lease in order to keep my 2 month deposit that is required in Taiwan. The old bastard even then had the audacity to tell me to recommend his place to my friends.

Well at least now I won't have to try to cook in a microwave with a broken start button or keep food in a 20 year old fridge that smelled like wilted wet laundry.

At least I can stay in the same hostel for my duration for fairly cheap.

(Cozy)

After coming to terms with getting shafted I headed out to get some comfort food as cathartic compensation.

 The sidewalks sparkle in the street light.

 

 Subway has a diverse selection of cheeses available as you can see.

 And Kyushu seaweed chips are fucking delicious, while Tunnel rice liquor makes me gag like a gagglge of geese. (I promise to stop with this abundant alliteration abuse)


The next day I joined some friends in their excursion to the Chiang Kai-shek memorial hall. It was a pretty chill place involving awesome architecture and a 4 legged man

                                                                                    4 legs ^

Ok so it was merely a trick of perspective, but it served to amuse me.

The memorial to Chiang Kai-shek was basically a copy of the Lincoln memorial, but the steps were closed off for reconstruction so I couldn't get close enough to get a picture of papa Chiang in his chair unfortunately.



Today was also filled with magical adventure and shit.

We went to a massive park on the outskirts of the city up in the mountains. It cost a grand total of 20 US cents (CF FREEDOM DOLLARY DOOS) for the bus ride.

Also no birds were allowed on the bus.

 I SUPPOSE IT WAS A RAMPANT PROBLEM

The climb thereafter was hell, but the view was incredible.

Our hiking path was known as the healthy trail or some shit and consisted of 400 steps narrow as a hand, covered in moss, and steep as some sort of very steep thing that is difficult to climb (use your imagination)

Now for some pictures.

  

There was also a swag ass praying mantis

Here is a picture of his blurry face

(Look at those arms, somebody's been liftin weights and eatin steaks)

Here was the view that awaited us.

We then celebrated with beer and lunch

I call it beerunch

The restaurant itself was completely self-sufficient at the top of this mountain. It was kinda like a hippie commune but with less pretension and more practicality.

Now for a cool lizard and some chill waterfalls

We also ran across a Buddhist shrine, a karaoke bar that was pouring out water from the roof (It hadn't rained at all which made the whole thing rather confusing), and a rape tunnel.

After this our adventures had concluded with a very tired and pained trip back to our respective abodes.

I celebrated the day with traditional Taiwanese Mcdonalds.

I got some oriental burger.

And by oriental I mean a spicy chicken filet sandwich.

Beep beep, I'm a jeep.