IT'S FUCKING DONE, HERE IS YOUR GODDAMN CLOSURE

HERE IS THE LAST GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING BLOG POST FOR MY MOTHERFUCKING BLOG FROM TAIWAN, THIS IS THE END OF IT THAT I NEVER POSTED BACK THEN BECAUSE I DIDN'T FUCKING WANT TO AND NOW IT IS THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SO I FEEL I MUST POST THIS SHIT FOR CLOSURE AT LEAST FOR ME SO FUCK YOU.....I mean that in the nicest way possible......so anyway to continue.

 WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT

Oh wait, it was in the train station. We met up, as a class, to go check out some waterfalls, and this dude decided to crash in. He was alright.

 Did I mention the train station was baller?

 Baller as fuck

 HERE IS SOME DUCK HEAD MOTHERFUCK I DON'T REALLY CARE HE IS CHARMING YES. NEXT IS A TRAIN

 I FUCKING TOLD YOU THERE WAS A TRAIN

                                                                            TREES

                                                              SO MANY PRETTY TREES

So I guess I should start a story?

 Ok, so we went to a town. They had wish balloons. They're balloons where you light some shit under them after writing wishes on the material. they're pretty sick. Here are some visual indicators of what they are capable of. 

                                              OH YEA AND THE TOWN WAS PRETTY

                                 ALSO HAVE SOME SARSAPARILLA, NO THAT IS NOT A TYPO

 DID I MENTION SHIT WAS PRETTY?

 I'M NOT REALLY SURE IF THESE PICTURES ARE INTERESTING ANYMORE. I THINK THEY ARE PRETTY. I GUESS THAT'S ENOUGH.

 OH YEA BRIDGES ARE COOL TOO.

 HERE IS THE WATERFALL

 OH YEA AND IF YOU EVEN THINK OF BREAKING A SINGLE RULE YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD.....DED.LOOK AT THIS PICTURE.

 HERE ARE SOME FISH THEY ARE PLEASANT AND THEY SWAM AROUND MY FEET A WHOLE BUNCH. I LOVE KOI FISH.

HERE IS THE BEST PUN EVER BECAUSE IT'S CHAIRMAN MAO.....GET IT? NO YOU FUCKING DON'T...MAO IS HOW YOU SAY CAT IN CHINESE, IT'S ALSO THE WAY YOU MOTHERFUCKING SAY MAO ZEDONG, SO THERE YOU GO....YEH.

 YES THAT IS AN ADORABLE CAT WITH A PRC HAT ON.....DEAL WITH IT.

So then we got back from this chill ass place and I had a raw squid, which they failed to remove the ink sack from. It didn't end pretty.

AND THEN IT TURNS OUT THIS WAS A STATUE OUT FRONT OF THE MAIN SUBWAY STATION

 yea......it actually looks normal from the opposite angle.

 Oh yea I also picked up a sick bootleg famicom (NES) system.

 AND THEN THERE WAS KARAOKE WHERE WE SANG THRILLER BY ROD TEMPERTON, REMEMBER ROD TEMPERTON?

 This was a great night.

 Why is Tobias such a badass?

Why did my bootleg FC come with a beretta lightgun?

 Nothing makes any sense anymore.

 NO IT SURE FUCKING DOESNT

HERE HAVE A PICTURE OF BALLOON SHIT SET UP IN THE UNDERGROUND MALL

OH YEA, AND HAVE SOME MALAYSIAN FOOD I THINK.....HENRY PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG. THIS FOOD WAS DELICIOUS. SO GODDAMN DELICIOUS.

                                                       OH YEA AND BEER

                                                                            BEER

                                                                     DANCING

                                                                   OH AND BEER

AND THAT'S IT. THANK YOU FOR READING MY TERRIBLE GODDAMN BLOG. I FUCKING LOVE YOU ALL. PEACE.

 WAIT HERE IS A PICTURE OF MY LAST NIGHT IN TAIWAN.

 

Canned Chips, Cheato Whores, Toilet Treats, ROCKIN ROCKS, and One Hell of a View.

Some of their chips come in a can

dispensed from a cold drink vending machine

and in the flavor of sushi

I enjoy them.

 Now for pictures of a sushi sandwich thing that is delicious and jagerbombs.

Also something about Cheato whores and sars

My good friend Andre and I also came across an empty casino parlor on the top floor of a strangely arranged plaza filled with french dresses and guns. 

 It was pretty neat



Now for some shit I ate out of a toilet.

 Welcome to the restaurant Modern Toilet

I had some sort of breaded cheese pork that was quite good.

It also came with just two french fries.

Behind the toilet pictured above is a somewhat visible cup that you could buy that is in the shape of a bed pan from a hospital, except you drink from it. Most functional water bottle.

Also, ice cream

And then there's this guy.

Now for a story of a failed attempt to go paragliding two weekends ago.

It begins with this classy hat I found in a fast food place on the northern end of Taipei called Moss Burger.

From there we took a bus to the north-eastern shore of Taiwan

Ended up in a neat little town, while managing to get a bit lost.

Thankfully though the paragliding professionals came to pick us up in their very charismatic van.

Unfortunately the residual wind from a recent typhoon prevented us from being able to para-glide.

The guides were still willing to take us up to the jump location for one hell of a view for free though. 

 It was all quite interesting but god do I wish we could have jumped.

Afterwards, seeing as how we still had several hours left in the day, we decided to travel to a place called Yelihu which is known for rocks.

Very exciting rocks

Pictures can explain better than I can

But first some pictures of the town that housed said very captivating rocks.

Also bugs

Now for the rocks

Get ready for this

It's very thrilling...

believe the hype

If you crossed this (I'm sure naturally occurring) red line you were greeted with a hail of angry whistles from the people who worked here.

 ...No idea what that fruit is but it looks quite odd, no?

 It was all lovely

Also I climbed into some cave and found a buddha.

Felt like I was in an Indiana Jones movie.

 Later we stumbled across some wild dog pups and their mother. The pups were wrestling over a discarded pizza box.

Now for some rocks once again.

 And dogs

 This upcoming picture is a rock formation called the Queen's Head, due to the fact it looks like a queen's (empress') head.

Then I ate a fish and we explored the town.

Incoming temple.

Then some prayers went down.

All in all it was a pretty successful trip I would say despite not being able to hurdle myself off of a cliff

:C

After we left the temple we stumbled upon a magical bus that just so happened to head straight back into the heart of Taipei for next to nothing. It even had TV's on board that played a wonderful array of entertainment such as bizarre karaoke songs in Chinese and some live action TV show about a monkey walking around a city with his dog while lighting fireworks and failing to take decent photographs with a digital camera.

I would nominate it for a Grammy (the soundtrack comprised of cheap midi songs was very compelling you see).

Speaking of animals though

  

I then finished off the day with how it began, with some Moss Burger (the bun was made of rice).

 Also some Dr. Milker

NOW GO TO FUCKING DMC