I can't believe I ate the whole thing

                                                                          First off

Now that that's out of the way, we can begin with some History Channel's Ancient Aliens shit

Yea....I'm not really quite sure either.

All of this and more brought to you by the fine Shilin night market.

Night markets are full of food and random bootleg shit, with items ranging from ABERFITCH hats to TANFORD UNIVERSITY hoodies, it's my kinda place.

Aside from night markets, I've recently eaten iced cream. That is not to say that I have eaten night markets, because that is impossible....maybe...but here.

 Honestly it was even more delicious than it looks and you probably are justified in a bit of envy. I shall mail some in the post to those of whom would like a taste.

I also ran across historically accurate GIANT EDIBLE CRABS!!1!

 The next morning was followed by a fine coffee and some sort of pork and egg sandvich

(which reminds me I should probably get some din din)

Aside from that not much has been going on aside from me sorting out my living situation. Tomorrow I move into a flat that's kinda like a storage room of reasonable size. It is fully furnished and has a bathroom complete with shower and washing machine (no dryer, meh.). It also lacks windows and has florescent lighting, which seems pretty standard for my price range (CF, POOR AS FUCK). Should be good.

Now have some scenery and some wizards' chess.

Wizards' chess

.....And finally a clover penis (my blog sure is full of phallic imagery isn't it)

 Now I'm going to get some food, pack my shit, and then take a poo.

Good night.

Streets and Meats and Dragon Dil- Boat racing...

The other day began with my weak attempt to plot out a route to the Mandarin Training Center in order to sign up for classes. And I say weak because my planning involved looking at a map for about two minutes and then rushing to the nearest convenience shop to procure foodstuffs.

Said Foodstuffs.

The hours that followed involved copious amounts of wandering the streets in a vain attempt to find the easily spotted subway stations that litter the city. Instead I passed numerous parks with business men sleeping and alleyways with "German" cafes, and a club called "The Jazz Seen" (yes, seen, not scene).I also passed a few Taiwanese people who shouted things to me like "HOLLYWOOD!" and "WAS-ZUP!".

I eventually took a cab.

After going through registration at the training center I went out for Mongolian BBQ with some friends.

We chose the ingredients, and then they beat the shit out of the ingredients with large sticks.

It was baller.

Later that night we went to a night market and I paid some lady $3 to beat the shit out of me with a bundle of sticks to "remove toxins" for 30 minutes. I felt amazing afterwards.

There were also penis cakes

and small dogs

(not related actually)
(And no, no one ate that dog, It was for sale as a pet in a pet store you plonkers.)
Then I went home and slept forever.

Today was spent going to the dragon boat festival, which was awesome and full of dragon boat racing. My school had a team and we lost by .2 seconds.

(Not my team, but a boat nonetheless.)

And then I ate a fried squid, and there was rapping

Afterwards we went to taipei101 which is a massive mall that is 101 stories tall ( I think?). Also has about every single brand name store that is worth more than me, such as louis vutton and chanel and shit.

Also someone had torn open a fire hydrant box and jury rigged some speakers in the top of it to play music in one of the tunnels on our way home.

Finally have a picture of some 58 proof Taiwanese alcohol and Taiwan beer.

Good night and good luck.

Cats and prostitues

Got in to my hostel last night after riding a bus into the shiny ass city that is Taipei. The drug dog at the airport was an adorable corgi that hopped eagerly onto suitcases that were probably filled with the drugs. There are no adults here in this city, only gangs of teenagers zipping about on vespas in herds about 15 strong. My hostel is chill and I have my own room for a week for cheap as dirt. Last night on a sidewalk I saw a skeezy looking tramp discussing money intimately with some old dude who was wrapped around her side like a koala and realized they were using words like sleeping and money in the same sentence. I also saw a cat. I saw that same cat this morning. Here is a picture of said cat. Cat cat cat.

ROLLING IN THE CHIANG KAI-SHEKAMINS

Here I sit in san Francisco for my layover pondering whether or not the developers of dark souls read a lot of berserk. Clearly I have my eye on the prize. Threw up a wine bar on my first flight after landing and saw snoop dogg in the Chicago airport I think. Got into la fine and into some shit traffic. Ate some BBQ, drank a beer, and slept on a couch while dreaming about roller Derby. But I digress, here is a picture of money