IT'S FUCKING DONE, HERE IS YOUR GODDAMN CLOSURE

HERE IS THE LAST GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING BLOG POST FOR MY MOTHERFUCKING BLOG FROM TAIWAN, THIS IS THE END OF IT THAT I NEVER POSTED BACK THEN BECAUSE I DIDN'T FUCKING WANT TO AND NOW IT IS THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SO I FEEL I MUST POST THIS SHIT FOR CLOSURE AT LEAST FOR ME SO FUCK YOU.....I mean that in the nicest way possible......so anyway to continue.

 WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT

Oh wait, it was in the train station. We met up, as a class, to go check out some waterfalls, and this dude decided to crash in. He was alright.

 Did I mention the train station was baller?

 Baller as fuck

 HERE IS SOME DUCK HEAD MOTHERFUCK I DON'T REALLY CARE HE IS CHARMING YES. NEXT IS A TRAIN

 I FUCKING TOLD YOU THERE WAS A TRAIN

                                                                            TREES

                                                              SO MANY PRETTY TREES

So I guess I should start a story?

 Ok, so we went to a town. They had wish balloons. They're balloons where you light some shit under them after writing wishes on the material. they're pretty sick. Here are some visual indicators of what they are capable of. 

                                              OH YEA AND THE TOWN WAS PRETTY

                                 ALSO HAVE SOME SARSAPARILLA, NO THAT IS NOT A TYPO

 DID I MENTION SHIT WAS PRETTY?

 I'M NOT REALLY SURE IF THESE PICTURES ARE INTERESTING ANYMORE. I THINK THEY ARE PRETTY. I GUESS THAT'S ENOUGH.

 OH YEA BRIDGES ARE COOL TOO.

 HERE IS THE WATERFALL

 OH YEA AND IF YOU EVEN THINK OF BREAKING A SINGLE RULE YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD.....DED.LOOK AT THIS PICTURE.

 HERE ARE SOME FISH THEY ARE PLEASANT AND THEY SWAM AROUND MY FEET A WHOLE BUNCH. I LOVE KOI FISH.

HERE IS THE BEST PUN EVER BECAUSE IT'S CHAIRMAN MAO.....GET IT? NO YOU FUCKING DON'T...MAO IS HOW YOU SAY CAT IN CHINESE, IT'S ALSO THE WAY YOU MOTHERFUCKING SAY MAO ZEDONG, SO THERE YOU GO....YEH.

 YES THAT IS AN ADORABLE CAT WITH A PRC HAT ON.....DEAL WITH IT.

So then we got back from this chill ass place and I had a raw squid, which they failed to remove the ink sack from. It didn't end pretty.

AND THEN IT TURNS OUT THIS WAS A STATUE OUT FRONT OF THE MAIN SUBWAY STATION

 yea......it actually looks normal from the opposite angle.

 Oh yea I also picked up a sick bootleg famicom (NES) system.

 AND THEN THERE WAS KARAOKE WHERE WE SANG THRILLER BY ROD TEMPERTON, REMEMBER ROD TEMPERTON?

 This was a great night.

 Why is Tobias such a badass?

Why did my bootleg FC come with a beretta lightgun?

 Nothing makes any sense anymore.

 NO IT SURE FUCKING DOESNT

HERE HAVE A PICTURE OF BALLOON SHIT SET UP IN THE UNDERGROUND MALL

OH YEA, AND HAVE SOME MALAYSIAN FOOD I THINK.....HENRY PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG. THIS FOOD WAS DELICIOUS. SO GODDAMN DELICIOUS.

                                                       OH YEA AND BEER

                                                                            BEER

                                                                     DANCING

                                                                   OH AND BEER

AND THAT'S IT. THANK YOU FOR READING MY TERRIBLE GODDAMN BLOG. I FUCKING LOVE YOU ALL. PEACE.

 WAIT HERE IS A PICTURE OF MY LAST NIGHT IN TAIWAN.

 

Giant Edible Crab, Guns, Gundams, Games, and Bread: This City is Blade Runner

 A couple weekends ago my friend Andre from Malta and I went to join his parents at a Japanese restaurant named Mitsui that was fucking excellent.

IT WAS 2DANK5YOU

The waiting area had us seated in front of an artificial waterfall.

THEY HAVE WATER IN THE RESTAURANT AND THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK IT IS FALLING SO THEREFORE THE SEAFOOD MUST BE DELICIOUS

This is irrefutable logic.

 The lighting at this (what I am assuming) 5 star restaurant was also perfectly positioned to illuminate the food dishes and distract attention from possible ugly people.

We ended up being horribly confused at the menu and decided to just go for a 7 course meal that was their specialty. It is the first time in my life I have had any sort of food brought to me on a dish where it is best eaten in a specific order.  

This clusterfuck of delicious nonsense was the first dish that was delivered to us.


It had many different types of sashimi, and those crawfish heads were later deepfried and returned to us to eat.


That fish was perfectly flayed down to the bone and its meat was also up for grabs on this dish.

 Then came our introduction to an alive giant king crab (Who I later named Pinchy)

Totally alive and moving around on our table

It almost knocked over that sake pitcher next to its foreleg.

Yea, it even broke the box it was in.

 They then took Pinchy away and I had an abalone salad

Abalone is delicious and has a pretty shell.


Then Pinchy came back

 RIP Pinchy ;_;

Then came the sushi

From left to right, Salmon, Taiwanese fish, Red fish, and Sea Urchin

Then there was also lobster salad and beef cubes. 

(the corn in that salad was somehow connected like it was still on the cob despite being free from its imprisonment) 

Afterwards soup was prepared for us, in front of us.

It was probably literally the best restaurant I have ever eaten at

10/10

Well 9/10 due to Pinchy's demise

;_;


I then went home and drank some sort of strange Japanese liquor I found in a cabinet which contained a single peach in each jar. 

Now for some rather charming pictures

(Plug Robot and Lucky Cat takin' it easy)

Fun fact; in almost every language except for English and Chinese a pineapple is called an aananas.

This city is Blade Runner.

This bread it filled with ham and baked with cheese.

 This is the Taipei Technology University which is covered in nature.

 This is the entrance to an underground mall.

This is the footballer Sammer wearing stockings and the Germans calling him a gay pig

Which is apparently quite the common insult

I like it.

 I found it in a military fatigues store in the Taipei city mall, a mall that is hundreds of feet long and entirely underground. Don't worry, I totally bought it. I'm going to sew this right onto my school bag.

Next up was a Buddhist statue shop that I feared entering lest I break everything in there.

I found it kinda hilarious how this was located right next to one of many anime fig shops in Taipei City Mall. 

 Now I hope you're ready for maximum jelly.

I'll let these pictures explain themselves.

 They also had countless N64 games, Ps1 games, Ps2 games, Dreamcast games, Sega Genesis games, Sega Saturn games, virtua boys, and basically everything.......
....

All for cheap as hell....

SHAME THEY ARE ALL REGION LOCKED AND IN JAPANESE

NOW FOR SOME FIG STORES

 

BECAUSE WHEN I THINK OF ASUKA, I THINK MAN, I COULD REALLY USE A SCHICK HYDRO 5 RIGHT NOW 




 You bet your ass I'm gonna buy the guy in the next picture

These stores made me realize that figs and models get like a 200% mark up in the states.

(Who doesn't like giant robots, seriously?)

The city mall also had a harp store

Also a minigun

Before I continue I should mention these are all airsoft.

 I would dual wield the pink and white one while smoking a cigar, no doubt.

After finishing at the mall Andre and I went to go eat at the top of Taipei 101 at a place called Shinyeh

An example of the view

The dinner consisted of fried shrimp with chilies 

Spring rolls

Ribs

Oyster omelet 

Some sort of shrimp and peanuts

Then came the chicken

 Oh yes

Dessert was fruit and some sort of thingy in warm almond milk.

Now for some pics of our swank looking dining venue. 

After dinner I came across a place that was in possession of Ireland's sole potato

They served music, potato, and beer. (yes potato was singular.)

It was pretty much a fair representation of Ireland.  

The whole affair left me feeling like this.

(actual ad campaign I noticed in a pharmacy.)

Now for an alien in a clothing shop. 

 ( OH MAN, I WAS SUCH A HUGE FAN OF COME ON BABY! 1)

Andre then purchased a bootleg nintendo for me.

 Yes, the light gun is a Beretta.

Pew pew.